Therapy Update Babeyy (I’m suffering)
Yo. I had my first consultation today with a psychologist. I bawled my eyes out when I spoke in my native language. It’s loaded with a lot of pain... hence why I prefer speaking in English. But isn’t it a good thing to be able to cry finally? When I’ve been numb for so long? The psychologist reassured me to keep talking in my native language and to try my best to not speak in English. Some parts are conflicted… I think some of them were frantically trying to be heard... my mouth was moving on its own... I don’t know. It felt like I wasn’t really there in the room and kind of blanked through all of it until suddenly we were given homework and the session ended. At home, I had like an "Aha" moment. The majority of my pain (as well as the parts that carry it) stems from our native language... so perhaps in order for us to heal - to access our feelings - we need to speak in our native language. And that’s really fucking hard... I’m just so used to speaking in English in almost every setting that the thought of doing therapy in my native language makes me sort of dread going to therapy LMAO.